this post is dedicated to my beloved granpa
rest in peace grandpa
6.11.08

dear granpa,

i still remember the memories we shared
the times when you visited us
and you taught me how to swim
and you challenged me to swim one lap in ONE breath
and i tried my best and failed *duh*
but you laughed it off and encouraged me

and the times when i visited you and grandma
the early boring afternoons
where all the cousins went off to school
and all my aunties and uncles went off to work
and you were at home
and you pei-ed me
you watched your boooring tv shows
and i begged and begged youto change the channel
and you let me
when it was the commercials
and you changed it back to your own show
those fighting-over-the-tv days i will never forget

and when i played my computer games at your house
and you let me play
without complaining
and once you used the computer when i went away for a while during playing
and i panicked!
and i thought you deleted my game
but it was still there.
of course you wouldnt delete it
of course you wouldnt.

and when you touched me with those sms-es
you sent me
those that had those awesome touching bible verses
it made my day
when im down
i look through those sms-es thst i keep to my heart
and i will never ever forget them
those words mean so much more
because they came for you

i never thought much about you in my daily life.
i kind of just forgot about you
since we only meet once or twice a year
but now your gone
and i want you back so badly
but you can never ever come back

it makes me think
why didnt i reply your smses?
coz i was too busy with my life
and sometimes the stupid connection didnt work
and and

gosh...
how can i forget you?
your such a awesome awesome grandfather and
and and
it hurts knowing your not here anymore
it hurts so bad
gosh...

i would trade anything and everything in this world
to have you return
but i cant right

but i know your in a better place right now
i know your happy and
your pain's gone

but that doesnt man my pain has healed.

i love you.
and nothing in this world will ever make me forget you.


____________________________________________________________________

today has been the longest day of my life
and it's not even half over
gosh..
i didnt know how losing your loved one and grief and all that felt like
super detached with this whole dying thing
then i just got the most shocking dose of reality

do you know how it feels when your loved one has been pulled away from you and your holding on to dear life and you cant let go

but you HAVE to

and that sucks
that's not fair
but life's not fair
so yeah.
i gotta deal with it
i have to be strong
but its so hard to be strong
i want to be strong for my mom
and my dad and my sis
and my aunts and uncles and cousins and everybody
but how can i?

thinking of you makes me cry for goodness sake
im trying not to cry right now.
goshhhhh


why did God take you right now?
why didnt he give me more time to get to know you?
why?

but i guess i dont have as much understanding as God
so who am i to question His decision.

goshh
i just want to die and be with you
apart of me wants to be with you
apart of me wants to be with my family

they'll always be parts of me.
always


____________________________________________________________________

at airport now
sighs
flight at 10am
maybe returning to singapore next thurs

erm yeah my mom hurrying me now
oh nooo
ayaa
ok
byes
take care everybody!

about yourself, like duh. :D

this post is dedicated to my beloved granpa
rest in peace grandpa
6.11.08

dear granpa,

i still remember the memories we shared
the times when you visited us
and you taught me how to swim
and you challenged me to swim one lap in ONE breath
and i tried my best and failed *duh*
but you laughed it off and encouraged me

and the times when i visited you and grandma
the early boring afternoons
where all the cousins went off to school
and all my aunties and uncles went off to work
and you were at home
and you pei-ed me
you watched your boooring tv shows
and i begged and begged youto change the channel
and you let me
when it was the commercials
and you changed it back to your own show
those fighting-over-the-tv days i will never forget

and when i played my computer games at your house
and you let me play
without complaining
and once you used the computer when i went away for a while during playing
and i panicked!
and i thought you deleted my game
but it was still there.
of course you wouldnt delete it
of course you wouldnt.

and when you touched me with those sms-es
you sent me
those that had those awesome touching bible verses
it made my day
when im down
i look through those sms-es thst i keep to my heart
and i will never ever forget them
those words mean so much more
because they came for you

i never thought much about you in my daily life.
i kind of just forgot about you
since we only meet once or twice a year
but now your gone
and i want you back so badly
but you can never ever come back

it makes me think
why didnt i reply your smses?
coz i was too busy with my life
and sometimes the stupid connection didnt work
and and

gosh...
how can i forget you?
your such a awesome awesome grandfather and
and and
it hurts knowing your not here anymore
it hurts so bad
gosh...

i would trade anything and everything in this world
to have you return
but i cant right

but i know your in a better place right now
i know your happy and
your pain's gone

but that doesnt man my pain has healed.

i love you.
and nothing in this world will ever make me forget you.


____________________________________________________________________

today has been the longest day of my life
and it's not even half over
gosh..
i didnt know how losing your loved one and grief and all that felt like
super detached with this whole dying thing
then i just got the most shocking dose of reality

do you know how it feels when your loved one has been pulled away from you and your holding on to dear life and you cant let go

but you HAVE to

and that sucks
that's not fair
but life's not fair
so yeah.
i gotta deal with it
i have to be strong
but its so hard to be strong
i want to be strong for my mom
and my dad and my sis
and my aunts and uncles and cousins and everybody
but how can i?

thinking of you makes me cry for goodness sake
im trying not to cry right now.
goshhhhh


why did God take you right now?
why didnt he give me more time to get to know you?
why?

but i guess i dont have as much understanding as God
so who am i to question His decision.

goshh
i just want to die and be with you
apart of me wants to be with you
apart of me wants to be with my family

they'll always be parts of me.
always


____________________________________________________________________

at airport now
sighs
flight at 10am
maybe returning to singapore next thurs

erm yeah my mom hurrying me now
oh nooo
ayaa
ok
byes
take care everybody!